Podcast season 5: Episode 4 – Therapeutic letter-writing

Please note that this transcript is auto-generated and therefore will contain some errors and natural pauses in conversation.

Dawn: [00:00:00] Welcome to the Creative Life Story Work podcast. Your regular dose of life story work inspiration. Every month we bring you life story work, ideas, tools, and honest insights from a range of perspectives. Stay connected to the latest thinking in life story work as we talk to people with lived experience, practitioners, local authorities, carers and people who are shaping the way we help care experienced children and young people make sense of their past and build a brighter future.

In this episode, we will consider how therapeutic letters can support healing, truth telling, and connection in social work practice. Joining me [00:01:00] today is Ciara McClelland. Ciara has over 14 years practice experience and specializes in working with children, young people, parents, families, and caregivers impacted by adverse childhood experiences.

Ciara is a training practitioner from Trauma-Informed Consultancy Services, which offers an extensive range of training sessions related to all aspects of how we can apply a trauma-informed framework to settings, services and Systems and Ciara will be delivering our live classroom on therapeutic letter writing on January the 21st, 2026.

Hello, and a very warm welcome to our podcast studio today. Lovely to see you.

Ciara: Yeah, you too, Dawn. Thanks for having me. I love being on – it’s great.

Dawn: Well, I think, yes, your third time and you’re still coming back, so that’s good.

[00:02:00] Ciara: Yeah I love it, Nice to see you.

Dawn: Could you start by telling us a bit about yourself and what first drew you to therapeutic letter writing.

Ciara: My name’s Ciara McClelland. I was born in Northern Ireland. I was born on the border town between the north and south of Ireland, and I was affected directly by the troubles. And that kind of encouraged me then to go on into training in the areas I trained in. So drama therapy I trained in about 14 years ago, and as a social worker, so I’ve been practicing both those professions just under about 14, 15 years now.

But before that, I supported and worked with alongside children and young people for about four or five years before that. So about 18 ish years I’ve been supporting children and young people.

[00:03:00] So it’s always been a love to, given my own background and my own experiences as a child to to support other children, young people, to be seen, to be heard, to be understood.

So yes, that is my background.

Dawn: Thank you. And what about therapeutic letter writing? Where did that first connect with you?

Ciara: So that would’ve connected probably around the time I was training in drama therapy because it’s a technique that we can use as a drama therapist to.. it’s a technique we can use in the psychotherapy psychoanalytic world – like Jungian and Freud supported their clients to write letters to the parts of themselves, like the younger parts of themselves and so on. So it would’ve been something that I become interested in around that training in drama therapy, and it was something that we would practice creatively.

[00:04:00] But then when I got into social work, there was no specific training in it in social work. It was more in my drama therapy practice. But there was therapeutic life story training, which was similar but different. But yeah, we would’ve used a form of therapeutic communication / writing in my social work practice, especially with children or young people who were kind of hard to connect with or a relationship had broke down, for example. But it wasn’t, in my memory, it was there in the background and we knew of it and we had some kind of, you know, guidance around it. And it was a skill as social workers that, you know, we had, but it wasn’t something that was, um, it was always in my experience, something that was, you know, an add-on or a cherry on the top or something that you would do if you had lots of extra time.

[00:05:00] But the more I’ve moved away from frontline social work, the more I’ve been able to take some time to slow down. And I’ve realized that actually, you know, it should be the bread and butter really of social work practice because it has so many added benefits. But it is one of those things when I was working frontline, that it was something that would really sit on the back burner. It wouldn’t be a priority.

Dawn: I’m really interested that it’s come from a theater practice as well. And you’re making the application into social work and for foster carers as well, I imagine.

Ciara: Yeah, I mean, way before I even trained in drama therapy, I would’ve remembered, I dunno about yourself, but writing like letters to myself in my diary or journal and even when I met some friends, you know, at a caravan holiday or something, we would keep in touch via a letter.

[00:06:00] And my dad was a postman as well, so we always had letters. So like, if we wanna go way back, he had letters like framed in the room, you know, different letters and so there was… I’m not saying I was always like writing letters, but there’s a little bit of kind of residue from childhood around letters and you know, so in terms of experiencing that as a child myself, there’s always something definitely like felt safe and warm and holding about getting a letter or sending a letter.

Dawn: Well, I was gonna say, ’cause my memory is at school and pen pals from completely other parts of the world that you would write letters to, but there’s something deeply personal about a handwritten letter. And I wondered about why you think letters can reach people in a way that sometimes conversations can’t?

[00:07:00] Ciara: Oh, yeah. So definitely something personal about getting one. And it’s lovely to get a letter or a card, isn’t it? And these days with the likes of MoonPig and stuff, it’s easier just to send one without writing one.

But yeah, I’ve always personally loved receiving letters and cards and always personally loved sending them, because for me, I think it’s important that, you know, people feel special. They feel special when they get a card or a letter, because I think it shows that the other person has just taken the time to slow down to think about them, to write the letter.

[00:08:00] And you know, especially for children and young people, it allows them to really, I believe, if the letter’s written well, to feel seen, and you know, there’s things in letters that you might not be able to say in person – for lots of reasons, maybe because of time constraints or distance, or the sensitivity of the subject.

So for me, a letter is almost like a container. It can offer a safe container to put in those things that, you know, might not be able to be said in person. But I guess it could go the other way as well, right? If we write a letter or something and it’s not, you know, read in the way it’s intended.

And so I think it’s important that a letter is written well, and there can be, yeah, there can be a little bit of, I know back in the day I was nervous about writing letters. Like, oh, am I saying the right thing? Am I saying the wrong thing? Is this gonna cause more harm than good? But, but I think it gives time to slow down, to write a first draft, to write a second draft, to have someone to read over it.

[00:09:00] I know with a child that I’ve been supporting recently, we’ve took a break in our therapy and I’m writing a letter, but I’m actually meeting with her carer for the carer to look over the letter as well, to kind of ensure that you know it’s gonna be received in the way that it’s meant to be received and that kind of thing.

Sorry, I went off on a loop – down a rabbit hole now.

Dawn: No, no. I think what you’re describing beautifully there is that is the process that you go through when you are writing a letter, and I know just from an article that you wrote, you talked about emphasizing what your intention is before you set out to write the letter.

And I just wondered, ’cause that must be at the very start of it, and I wondered if you wanted to say something about what that looks, sounds and feels like before you even begin to write the letter.

[00:10:00] Ciara: Yes. Yeah. I think for me personally, if I feel stuck with a young person, for example, if there’s a rupture in the relationship, if they’ve disengaged in the relationship, that’s a time where I think, what else? You know, what is going on? And, and for me there’s something like slowing down, thinking about what else could be going on before I even think about what I would put in the letter. So it might be that I sit with a supervisor or a colleague and think about what else might be going on around the relationship. So I would suggest doing that first, either you know, on your own as a professional, thinking about what is the block in the relationship, what is stuck, what needs to be said that can’t be said in words, and think about that either with yourself or with a supervisor.

[00:11:00] And, and then there might be, you know, a half a dozen things that might be in the letter, but you might focus on one for example. So yeah, I would definitely, you need to do a little bit of thinking and the more you do it, the more you practice, the quicker it can become. ’cause I know people are time limited with this stuff, but even when you’re driving in the car or whatever, just thinking about what is going on and, and what options do I have? And then you might come across four or five different areas of what might go in the letter, but you might wanna focus on, on one of them, for example.

Dawn: What’s the long-term value you see in letters?

Ciara: Well, as you say, they can last for years, and people have got something tangible to hold so they can hold it, it can act as an anchor, as a reminder, as a memory.

[00:12:00] Um, so even after the relationship, for example, stops, they’ve got a letter to remind them of that relationship. It’s something that you can return to because, you know, reading a letter once, you  might read it in a certain way, depending on what mood you’re in. You might read a word a certain way. You might not pick up on something the first time, so it allows you to come back to the story and back to the relationship and it also for me acts as a kind of like an invisible string between the child and young person and the practitioner. So especially with children who, you know, have experienced attachment wounding, having something that connects the practitioner and the young person is really important. And I think the letter can do that. You know, there’s other ways that can do that through text or email or voice message, depending on your relationship with your young person. But that letter, it just feels different, it’s just, you know, a little bit more kind of special, isn’t it?

[00:13:00] Dawn: Let’s go to a break so you can hear about our Creative Life Story Work membership offer.

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Dawn: What can we learn from the physical act of writing itself, even if that letter’s never sent?

[00:15:00] Ciara: Good question. I think we can learn to slow down, to pause, to take some time to really think and process what else is going on between, you know, you and the young person. It allows us to really just take time and hold that young person in mind. Even if the letter isn’t sent, the ritual of having something to externalize what we’re holding inside is, is therapeutic in itself. So yeah, just having that process of kind of externalizing what we’re thinking and putting it on paper. That can be enough to really allow some distance between yourself as a practitioner and the child or young person.

And you know, you might discover some things that were kind of – you weren’t able to reach through words, for example.

[00:16:00] And, and that might be enough just to, just to shift the relationship a little bit because you might see things differently. Um, you know, and you might not need to send the letter after all. That might be enough of a process for you as a practitioner to, to show up in a different way.

Dawn: I don’t think I’d considered that way of writing letters for the, for the social worker or the foster carer as well. That’s a really interesting thought. Um, for social workers or carers who want to start using therapeutic letter writing, what, what’s a good first step?

Ciara: Oh yeah. Okay. Uh, what is a good first step? Look at some examples, I guess. That are out there, or, or, or even take a bit of time to think about your, you know, relationship with letters, you know, and writing. You know, everyone’s got different relationship with letters. Like, have you ever received a letter? How did that feel? What was really nice about it? Was it the envelope that it was sent in? Was it the way it was delivered?

[00:17:00] What was felt a little bit, you know, what felt icky about it, for example, for want of a better word, What felt icky about it or what felt uncomfortable about it?

So I think that’s a good place to start. Think about your relationship with letters, how you’ve received them, and how you’ve sent them. And then look at some examples that are out there. There’s different examples that are out there. Um. I think that’s a good starting place. And then perhaps think about, well, how would I like to write these letters?

Do I want to, and how do I want the young person to receive them. Is it, is it something on a back of a envelope? Is it, you know, a quick kind of note or is it something that I want to make really special? And if so, you know, what do I need for that? Do I need some nice paper and nice envelopes?

[00:18:00] But that’s really down to the person.

But, um, I think it’s about taking that time to really slow down, take a little bit of time and think, how do I want to show up in this relationship? Because nine times outta 10, we’re running so fast in life that we might show up in relationships in a way that we later feel guilty about or regret. So I would say before you set your intentions for letter writing.

It’s important to do that little bit of thinking, what’s my relationship with letters and receiving them and how do I want to show up in this process? Because the danger is that you go into it, you know, from a kind of time limited place, you know, or a fast pace, and you might end up writing something that is perceived as rushed or not thought through. And then you might regret it later.

00:19:00] So this is an opportunity to, yeah, slow down and offer repair or offer nourishment in relationships that you might not necessarily have when you’re kind of running around. Rather than slowing down.

Dawn: Yeah. What a beautiful process you’re describing there. Are there any particular prompts or structures that you find helpful when writing letters?

Ciara: So there is a blog that I’ve written recently, which people can refer to and, and we’ll talk about this more in the training in January in the workshop, but as a starter, I would say find a quiet space. Make yourself a cup of tea or coffee or hot chocolate or whatever it is.

Dawn: Always a good place to start.

Ciara: Yeah always a good place to start, you know, get that ambience right, whether it’s, you know, lighting or music or whatever.

[00:20:00] Just really take the time and, and nourish that time with yourself. And start to, that’s a really good place to start because that that idea of, you know, nourishment and that kind of thing will come through in the letter.

So start there. Start with yourself first. Make sure that you are kind of filled up and you’re relaxed. And then, um, and a good place to start is freehand. So starting freehand is a good technique. So just write a letter that isn’t gonna be sent. So you might just write the letter freehand. And then look back over what you’ve written, and you might then get a better idea of your thought process and, and what you want to say in the letter.

Uh, and then I would say keep it simple, soft, affirming language is, is good language that the child or young person is used to in your relationship. Um, how you talk, that’s probably a good place to start. There’s lots of other tips in the blog. And in the workshop that you know, we can look at later.

[00:21:00] Dawn: My final question for you today, if you could leave listeners with one message about the power of therapeutic letter writing, what would that be?

Ciara: Okay, so the power of therapeutic letter writing can be a really wholesome opportunity. An experience to really nurture a relationship with a child or young person and nurture it in such a way that gives them an opportunity to be seen, to be heard, to be understood, and it’s a real opportunity to offer some healing in a relationship where a child or young person might not have had that historically. So it’s a really nice opportunity to offer some healing, really. Yeah.

[00:22:00] Dawn: Thank you, Ciara, for sharing  your insights today into the art and the heart of therapeutic letter writing. Just hearing how letters can hold memory and connection, nurturing a relationship and, and how the very act of writing can can offer healing even when you don’t send you words as well. So thank you very much for our conversation this morning.

Ciara: You’re welcome. Thank you.

Dawn: Whether you are a foster carer, someone who has experience with the care system, or you work with children and young people, we hope this episode has given you an insight into how we can make life story work better for young people and how you can use it in your practice.

[00:23:00] If you would like to find out more about Creative Life story work and Ciara’s live classroom on Therapeutic Letter Writing on the 21st of January, 2026, please visit our website, creativelifestorywork.com and you can find us on LinkedIn and Blue Sky at CreativeLSW.

Please do get in touch there with any comments or questions as we’d love to hear from you. If your podcast app allows you, please do leave us a review as it really helps others to find our show. So until next month, bye for now.