Podcast Season 4: Episode 8 – The role of a Therapeutic Life Story Worker

Please note that this transcript is auto-generated and therefore will contain some errors and natural pauses in conversation.

[00:00:00] DAWN: Welcome to the Creative Life Story Work podcast, where we explore how to make life story work better for all care experienced children and young people. Creative Life Story Work is an approach which can improve children and young people’s lives and their relationships with others, both at home and at school.

[00:00:29] It’s based on the ROSE model of Therapeutic Life Story Work. Every month, we’ll explore a different aspect of Creative Life Story Work and we’ll give insights into how you can use this approach to help care experienced children and young people make sense of their past and their future, and build a brighter future.

[00:00:48] Today, we are exploring the role of the therapeutic life story worker and the support they offer to care experienced children and young people. And I’m really delighted to welcome to our podcast studio, Michelle Ewing. Michelle is a life story worker in the Children and Family Services in Leicestershire and they have just received an outstanding rating from Ofsted.

[00:01:14] Inspectors praised work to build strong and lasting relationships with children and families which lead to many families achieving positive changes in their lives. A huge welcome Michelle, so lovely to meet you. Welcome to our podcast studio. You’re very, very welcome. I wondered just if you would like to set the scene almost and explain to some people who might be listening who aren’t familiar with the term therapeutic life story worker, what is it that What is it that you do?

[00:01:50] MICHELLE: So I have different bits of my job really, so I have my day to day job which is based in the adoption team in Leicestershire, and a lot of that focuses on supporting adopters and how they’re going to tell their child’s story to them as they get older. But in terms of what therapeutic life story work is, it’s helping children to understand their story, their background, where they come from, who’s who, and you’re doing it in a therapeutic way.

[00:02:14] But There are no limits into what that looks like. So a lot of the time, sometimes I can think, am I doing this in a therapeutic way? Because I don’t know if I’m actually having an impact on children, but actually the therapeutic bit is that you’re sitting, you’re listening, you’re hearing that child and you’re giving them the space to ask questions and sometimes just sit with those difficult feelings.

[00:02:35] So it’s, you know, it’s just giving that space, that, that place for children to explore. Which every child deserves.

[00:02:42] DAWN: And what inspired you to pursue a career in therapeutic life story work? Where were you before? What were you doing?

[00:02:50] MICHELLE: So I did a degree in psychology way back a long time ago, and then what really, really wanted to work in residential children’s homes.

[00:02:58] So I did that for a couple of years and one of the things I think that stood out was you know, us as workers, we had the expectation of sharing difficult information with children passed down from social workers. And I remember I was reflecting back on where I’d been earlier, knowing that I was coming on here, that I was asked to tell one of our young people that he was going to be a big brother and his family were going to be looking after that child, which would have been really difficult for him because he wasn’t able to live with them. But actually, we would, it was just about trying to do that in the best way for him. And actually he was still quite young so it was doing it in a creative way and making him a certificate and celebrating that he was going to be a big brother instead of, you know, just sharing it with him just in a face to face conversation.

[00:03:39] And then allowing after that to have some difficult conversations about how that might make him feel, why those decisions are that he’s not going to go back to them. So that’s kind of where it kind of came from. And then I moved to a different local authority as a social work assistant in an adoption team.

[00:03:52] And as part of my role was asked to do some life story books, which I just really enjoyed. And it just stood out to me as something that thought was for me. And then I did my diploma in therapeutic life story work with Richard Rose probably nearly four or five years ago now. Actually, no, I don’t know. It was way before COVID. So yeah, that’s where it got to. And then now I am a sole life story worker in Leicestershire.

[00:04:17] DAWN: In Leicestershire. I love the connection back to Richard Rose. I can’t believe that, he is the guru, so you’ve done his diploma, his life story work diploma.

[00:04:30] MICHELLE: Yeah, and I do his full kind of therapeutic lifestyle process with children and I tend to focus on children in care.

[00:04:37] That’s, that’s not for any particular reason. That’s not where my job is. I am based in the adoption team. But I do that as extra because that’s kind of where my passion is for those children. You know, it’s not as easily able for them to get funding for support with their story.

[00:04:51] DAWN: We were in a live classroom with Richard yesterday about doing direct work, so lots of your peers and colleagues were in the space as well, being very helpful, sharing their experiences of how they’ve been using some of Richard’s tools and techniques so that’s really interesting for me. How does it typically begin when you’re working with a child? What’s the process that you use to create a life story with the child that you’re working with in Leicestershire?

[00:05:18] MICHELLE: A lot of the time it’s building that relationship first and getting to know them. So before I will talk to the people that know them best, whether they’re in, whether they’re with carers or adopters or in a residential home, just find out things that they might like, you know, even just their favourite colour, so that the first time I meet them I know a little bit about them, um, go out and meet them with someone that they trust and know first, and just explain it to them. I met a young person for the first time last week and it was, it was basically that, you know, they’re nearly going to be 18, so it’s just, you know, they are nearly an adult, but actually it was just trying to explain that for a lot, for a long period of your time in care you’ve probably had done to you and not with you.

[00:05:56] And that’s what I want to do. I want to give you that space to be heard. Because, you know, like lots of people in Life Story Works say, that actually we can’t help children if they can’t be heard. Understand what they’ve internalized and what their narrative is. We can’t correct those misconceptions if we don’t hear that.

[00:06:12] So it’s, it’s about relationship building in those first few.

[00:06:15] DAWN: And then presumably then you talked there about meeting with an 18 year old, you would have to tailor your approach when you’re working with them. Children or young people, young adults from different backgrounds or with different experiences.

[00:06:29] MICHELLE: Yeah, and I think that’s, I think that’s one of the biggest things about Therapeutic Life Story Work that I really love is that you can be as creative and as flexible and as different as you want to be. So, you know, one of my teenagers, it’s more about having like a chat and she just loves to have conversations and doesn’t really want you too much to do lots of activities because she feels like mature.

[00:06:49] Whereas some of my other young people, we have to spend the first 10 minutes regulating and we are rolling around on the floor, throwing things at each other in a nice way. But, so there’s lots of, I just have to, you have to mould into what’s going to be right for them and just be as, and I think that’s the good thing that, you know, Richard Rose says on his training, is that he doesn’t want, you know, Millions of mini Richard Roses, you know, he wants people to be..

[00:07:15] DAWN: That would be a scary thought.

[00:07:16] MICHELLE: You said that, not me!

[00:07:18] DAWN: Will can cut it out.

[00:07:20] MICHELLE: But you know, he wants, he wants people to use their talents, their individual personalities and to mold it for a child. And I think that, you know, that gives you that. And that actually all through all the different techniques and tools and stuff, you might think, Oh, I think this is going to work really well.

[00:07:36] And then you go out and you think, That did not work at all how I thought it would and then other times you can think this is, you know, I don’t think this is going to work and then you come away and you’ve had the most brilliant session. So it’s just seeing what works for them.

[00:07:52] DAWN: Really interesting to hear about your license to adapt the training that you’ve done with Richard and I just wondered, have you got any favorite tools or techniques that you typically like to use, which are your go to ones that you really like doing?

[00:08:10] MICHELLE: I really love the ones around feelings where you get everyone to write down feelings, you’ve got one minute to write them down and then you go through the ones that you think that you’ve matched up and the ones that aren’t, that are different, then you put them in the middle and then you kind of take turns to act them out, um, or use like the heads up approach of them, we’re trying to guess and you’re acting out together because I think sometimes I’ve thought, oh, I don’t know if they’re going to like this, you know, they’re a teenager and they absolutely I think also it helps to show you as a person because I always say when they’re laughing at me because of how I’m acting, I’m like, that’s okay, you know, I’m happy for you to laugh at how I’m acting.

[00:08:44] I know I’m not a great actor, but yeah, so I think that’s really good. And I always use, I know that there’s an article that you’ve just put on about kind of the thin-feel-do bears and the importance of them. I don’t necessarily use bears because I just adapt it to whatever that child’s like, that like, so I’ve used a creeper from Minecraft.

[00:09:02] I didn’t even know that was a creeper, A creeper from Minecraft, unicorns, just whatever, you know, that child will be invested in and then add the different elements to that. So they’re always my go to’s that I tend to always use with them.

[00:09:17] DAWN: I love the improvisation that you’re describing. I’m just thinking about, you said in your role in Leicestershire that you’re the only one with the title of Life Story Worker, but what about some of the other professionals that you work with? I’m wondering how you do that. Maybe foster carers or social workers in supporting a child’s therapeutic journey.

[00:09:45] MICHELLE: Yeah. So when I started, I think, I mean, when I started doing Life Story Work, I think one of the things was there wasn’t, there wasn’t really that much support for staff when you’re doing it.

[00:09:53] Even when you’re writing a life story book, a lot of the time it was go off and write the book and look at some examples that have been done before, but it felt like there was no kind of parameters. Am I doing this right? So what I did, what I’ve done in Leicestershire is that we’ve got a hub on kind of our learning page where all staff from children, families can access it.

[00:10:12] And that has examples of life story work. links to kind of podcasts and other kind of videos that are helpful for them in how to do it. And then I put on two different types of training sessions for staff throughout the year. One, which is on how to write a life story book. And then the other one is therapeutic technique.

[00:10:30] So I say, you’re not going to go away and be a trained therapeutic life story worker, but actually you can use some of these elements in any of your conversations that you have. So that is things like you can use the think-feel-do bear, you know, why can’t you just have that in your toolkit so that when you go and talk to children, you just pass it to them and go, what do you think about what I’ve just told you?

[00:10:49] So things like that, getting them and actually even just using the wallpaper, because I, you know, I talk, I say that, you know, actually what’s the harm in, if you’re doing any kind of direct work with a child’s story, that you can do it on a wallpaper so you can revisit it and go back. And children love that interactive element.

[00:11:06] So I think it’s just about encouraging staff to be as creative with lifestyle work as possible. And then in terms of foster carers, it’s just, I do, because obviously I’m based in the adoption team and a lot of our foster carers are then having to have those difficult conversations, particularly for some of our older children that are moving on to adoptive homes around why decisions have been made and what’s going to happen.

[00:11:27] And in that it’s just supporting them and how they’re going to answer those questions. And I create things for them to use. So I’ve used Create kind of storybooks for children, sometimes using their parents, different favorite characters and how, you know, just how to explain that. Or I’ve done some where we’re just focusing on like a child’s feelings and how to emotionally, how to get some emotional literacy to check that the child understands that and using, I’ve learned lots of different things about characters, but using their favorite character tablets.

[00:11:53] It’s almost like a workbook that foster carers can then use. So yeah, it’s just about, and staff can contact me for advice on certain, any cases that they’ve got. So that’s how I support. Lots of different areas within that, and we’ve got kind of a a life story work kind of policy that we launched three years ago, I think now, which I was involved in the task and finish group.

[00:12:16] So that’s out there for staff, new staff that are coming in that can understand what our bottom lines are for life story work, what our transfer expectations are for children moving to cross different teams. I think one of the really things that we’re really proud of that we do is that we have like a life story fortnight every year where we will put on different elements that we can think of in terms of life story webinars for staff to log on to different themes.

[00:12:44] And what I’ve been doing is like a life story showcase. So I just set up in the kitchen in our office and just ask staff for their pieces of work that they’re proud of, show examples that I’m proud of and people can just come in, dip in, ask questions, and just see what it looks like. Because I think the biggest thing for me is that we want it to be consistent for all our children. And, you know, it’s just making that. And a lot of the time it’s just helping staff to feel confident, I think, when doing it. I’ve spoke a lot there. That was a lot.

[00:13:13] DAWN: No, I really like how you’re creating a very safe container for all staff to just go in and try it out, have a go to do it. And I really love the idea of you setting up in the kitchen to do it and doing a webinar from your kitchen at work. I love it.

[00:13:30] MICHELLE: Yeah, I think a lot of the time it is just that I say, I say to staff, like children just need someone that’s going to be consistent and that’s going to be predictable and reliable and that’s going to hear them.

[00:13:41] You know, and the rest of it, doesn’t matter if you’re good at drawing, I’m like, I’m the worst drawer that you can possibly imagine, like, I am full of stick people, I’m okay with that, and I need, I just own that with the kids, and then they laugh at me, but, you know, doesn’t matter about how wonderful you can draw.

[00:13:57] DAWN: Let’s go to a break. So you can hear about our Creative Life Story Work membership offer.

[00:14:05] Trailer: We want people to gain more of an understanding about what it’s like to be care experienced and to have a better understanding of what it actually means. Could Creative Life Story Work make a difference to the care experienced children and young people you work with? Maybe you’re a social worker. I think we forget at our peril that actually telling a child the story of their early life is one of the most profound uses of social work power that we could ever operate. Perhaps you’re a foster carer. You know, when they say it’s all about the child, it’s not because our experiences, it’s about the carer and the child and it just gives a new angle to our relationship because we’re learning about each other together.

[00:14:50] A Creative Life Story Work membership will give you or your whole team access to resources. Including activities you can use in direct work with children and young people, training with life story work experts, and lots more. And I think a lot of our children are looking for meaning, looking for, you know, well why is it I feel this way when my, you know, my friends don’t?

[00:15:12] Why is it I get angry eternally? And my friends don’t. The greatest thing we see is when we are able to say to young people, this is your story, this is about who you are. And then children towards the end say, it’s not my fault that these things happened, but it is something that I can do something about.

[00:15:27] And once we have that, then we know we can move forward. Find out about our membership for individuals and for organizations on our website, creativelifestorywork.com.

[00:15:41] DAWN: So what you’ve just described there is a huge amount of support that you’re offering in your job role to the children and young people that you work with, but also you’re offering support to other staff members across different service functions as well.

[00:16:01] And I just wondered, how do you maintain your own well being and emotional resilience in, in your line of work? What support systems Are you relying on to manage that for yourself?

[00:16:15] MICHELLE: I think that’s a really good question to ask. And actually it’s probably only something that I’ve probably really identified in kind of the past couple of years, really, of actually how important it is to have that space for yourself, because I think, especially in life story work, yes, you are celebrating that child’s life and you’re trying to pick out obviously lots of the positive elements, but then a lot of the time you are dealing with their trauma and their loss, and you’re sitting with that, and then you’re taking it away, especially from those direct sessions that you’ve had.

[00:16:40] And then if I’m supporting adopters and how to tell a child’s story. I’m sitting and I’m writing it. So it is kind of you are sitting in a lot of kind of that trauma. So it was something that I kind of identified, you know, for myself really and spoke to my manager about it and they were really helpful in that they’ve kind of, we’ve got like a clinical psychologist that we have access to.

[00:16:58] So I do now have clinical supervision separately from the therapeutic life story work supervision that I have, where it’s just really about talking about me and your feelings and how I feel because I, you know, I always say to my children, it’s okay to not be okay. It’s okay to say how you’re feeling, however you feel is valid.

[00:17:15] But I think then as workers, we have to identify that as well. And, and having that space to offload is probably one of the biggest important bits, I think, when you’re doing life story, because I think sometimes You just never know which bit’s going to trigger you. And no matter, you know, I think every story that you hear is difficult.

[00:17:31] DAWN: It just, it’s really interesting because Richard gave us very generously his model to play with. And that’s where we’ve come and developed Creative Life Story Work. So it’s artists stepping into the space alongside another social worker and the adult and the child to do his six All About Me sessions and that was one of our biggest learnings at Blue Cabin was the supervision that our artists need after each of those sessions and it took us, it took us a while to do develop what that is, but now we have access to two supervisors who offer clinical supervision to our artists. But that was quite a big learning curve for some artists who’d never, who didn’t really know what supervision was or thought they were going to get told off and didn’t realize what what a supervision session was.

[00:18:24] So it’s something that we at Blue Cabin are pushing. And saying, you know, this is on offer and working it out. Do we need it? Do our core team need it? So it’s a big discussion that’s going on at Blue Cabin at the minute. So interesting to hear.

[00:18:39] MICHELLE: Yeah. And I think there’s a lot that you did. There’s a lot of work, I think, in like the TLSWI community in terms of having supervision standards and things that they’re working towards as well, because, you know, making sure that everybody gets that same. I get supervised by Nudin J, who’s also very high up in the, life story world, but I think, and I think it’s having somebody that you can talk to that’s doing it as well, because sometimes I can be sitting there and I don’t know if I’m making any difference.

[00:19:07] And actually, You know, she’ll be great and she’ll just say to me, but Shell, they’re sitting and listening. They’re coming to your sessions every time.

[00:19:14] MICHELLE: Like your therapeutic bit is that you’re sitting with them and you’re being reliable and consistent when they’ve not had anybody in their lives do that. So yeah, sometimes you need that person to go back to when you don’t really know whether you’re doing the right thing at that time.

[00:19:28] DAWN: What a great description of your supervision session there. I’m just wondering, so you’ve done your training in, and you’ve done your diploma in Richard Rose’s Therapeutic Life Story work. Are there any other approaches or research in the field that you’ve come across that have influenced the way that you practice anywhere else that you’ve been influenced by?

[00:19:54] MICHELLE: One thing that I’ve brought in so much is that therapeutic parenting model of PACE and using that really with all the children that you work with.

[00:20:01] And when I’m working with adoptive parents, it’s about supporting them and again, talking about how they can use that with their children. You can use that, that element of wondering and, and, you know, being curious. I think it just has a massive impact on just working with children in general, but especially in kind of Life Story Work and supporting them.

[00:20:20] So that’s something that I always, always talking about. And I’m talking to about with staff and things as well, um, to be used. That’s one of my, my big ones.

[00:20:28] DAWN: And my last question is, if you could share one piece of your wisdom or insight with the people listening about your role as a therapeutic life story worker, what would it be?

[00:20:42] MICHELLE: That’s a big question, isn’t it? I think it’s just, uh, just to be you, just to be you, you know, just you can be a difference to a child just by being who you are and being there for them and allowing them that space. To talk about their story, you know, I think a lot of the time we do worry about whether we’re saying the right thing, but actually, as I always say to parents and things, we are not robots, we’re never going to get it right 100 percent of the time we can do our best, but actually, that’s probably the best model that would that were given to children to show.

[00:21:13] That we’re not, you know, we, we don’t always get it right. And actually, I’m always driving home in the car and I think, why did I not say that? Or I could have asked that question, but then the next time I go, I’ll, sometimes I’ll be like, you know what? I’ve been thinking of you since the last time I saw you and I really wanted to ask this question.

[00:21:28] Or I’m not sure if I did explain it right. What did you hear when we were talking about it? So I think that’s just sick. We just never got, you’re not always going to be perfect or get it right. It just shows us that we’re human and that that’s great role model for children. That’s, that’s my pitch.

[00:21:43] DAWN: Oh, what a lovely note to end on. Oh, Michelle, thank you so much for your time this morning. And it’s been so lovely to hear from a therapeutic life story worker how you’re taking some of the training that you’ve done from Richard Rose and developing it in Leicestershire. And that you’ve got your, amazing Ofsted Achievement, which you can be proud of that your work shining a light through there as well.

[00:22:10] How fantastic Thank you very much for your time this morning. It’s been lovely lovely to chat to you.

[00:22:15] MICHELLE: Thank you for having me

[00:22:19] DAWN: Whether you’re a foster carer or someone who has experience with the care system, or you work with children and young people. We hope this episode has given you an insight into how we can make life story work better for young people and how you can use it in your own practice.

[00:22:35] You can find out more about creative life story work on our website creativelifestorywork.com and you can find us on LinkedIn and X at CreativeLSW. Please do get in touch there with any comments or questions. As we’d really love to hear from you. And if your podcast app allows, please do leave us a review as it really helps others to find our show.

[00:23:00] So until next month, bye for now.